Esspi Released her new Album

Cape Town, South African artist Esspi, the project of singer-songwriter Sarah Pearson, has released her new album, FAUXstalgia, and focus track, “Retrograde.” The title comes from a word Esspi created while studying nostalgia in college: missing a time you never lived through, or feeling connected to an emotion you have never experienced.

The album draws on 1970s and 80s music, citing Kate Bush, Depeche Mode, The Eagles, Linda Ronstadt and Queen. Esspi blends these influences with folk-pop, alt-pop and indie-country, pairing a vintage feel with honest, personal songwriting.

FAUXstalgia took six years to make, beginning when Esspi was 13. Its first song, “What Am I Supposed To Do,” was inspired by a close friend’s parents’ divorce. Written from a child’s perspective, it captures the confusion of watching a family change. Other songs started as voice memos carried from phone to phone until they became complete tracks. “Some songs took ten minutes to write; others took six years,” she says.

Esspi recorded the album during school holidays in a home studio with producer David Jones, where the relaxed setup allowed them to follow the songs’ direction. When saxophonist Dave Bettesworth joined, the group became known as “Double Daves.” For “All I Hear Is Rain,” Esspi and Jones spent what felt like 500 takes clapping into a microphone. Though largely hidden beneath the saxophone solo, it remains one of her favourite memories. Computer crashes, re-recorded parts and unexpected effects also found their way into the final songs.

FAUXstalgia moves away from Esspi’s previous release, “Tainted Heart,” born from a lonely, difficult period. “That whole song was literally a two a.m. spiral,” she says. This time, she wanted to turn difficult thoughts into strength rather than keep them to herself. “So many people have those two a.m. moments. I took a bunch of those spiral thoughts and used them as a strength instead.”

That idea sits at the heart of “Retrograde,” which Esspi calls “my baby.” The track explores the pressure of always being strong while feeling yourself slip backwards. Inspired by spending time with the wrong people and losing sight of herself, she sings: “I don’t like the person I’ve become, I don’t know how I’ve changed or what it’s from, yeah I just retrograde instead of run.” She now looks back on the person who wrote it with understanding: “I’ve learned so much, and have so much more knowledge going out into the world.”

Elsewhere, “Darkness at the Disco” explores the bittersweet truth that caring for someone can mean letting them go, while “What Am I Supposed To Do” follows a child trying to understand adult pain. Esspi leaves room for listeners to find their own meaning: “I want you to interpret it in the way that most resonates with you.”

With FAUXstalgia, Esspi brings together six years of voice notes, late-night studio sessions and personal struggles. It is an album about hard-to-explain feelings—and the comfort of knowing you are not alone in them.